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Will You Choose to Not Bond With Your Baby?

by Maryn Leister

The latest research headline reads, “Epidural During Labor May Hinder Breastfeeding”.

Let’s be real here. What this study is really saying is that interventions (here, epidurals) mess with the entire birth process and create serious problems. Breastfeeding problems are serious enough, but what they are really saying is that interventions get in the way of bonding.

Bonding. Those first few moments after birth when the world stands still and you meet your baby for the first time. If it was a perfect world, every woman and baby would meet this way. There are very specific “chemical reactions” that occur when you are in labor that lead to the ability for you and your baby to connect.

As labor progresses and the baby is getting ready to be born, your body releases high levels of endorphins which give you a “high” feeling, and plenty of oxytocin (the “love hormone”). Both of these are produced in higher and higher levels as labor pain intensifies so that you can deal with the pain. The pain is a good thing, and is actually needed so that this entire chain reaction can occur.

So, when we mess with the natural ability of the body to deal with pain (getting an epidural), we screw up the process of birth and bonding. It’s really that simple. Not to mention that any drug used during birth does get to the baby, and as this study illustrates, can affect the baby’s ability to suck.

Although totally predictable, the part that makes me most angry is the quote from the study’s lead author, Dr. Torvaldsen: “I think the most important message for pregnant women is to get good advice and help with breastfeeding.”

What??? That’s not fixing the problem, that is just trying to take a rather pathetic stab at masking the symptoms. Breastfeeding isn’t the problem, the epidural is!

The problem is that epidurals have become a pretty standard part of hospital birth. Many women have no idea that there are (like any intervention) side effects, risks and even seemingly “harmless consequences” like destroying after-birth bonding. So, if that’s the problem, what is the solution?

We need to teach, encourage and give women back the power to have babies without epidurals. So many women say that they cannot even think of having a baby naturally. Often, I agree with them… having a baby in the hospital, hooked up to an IV, being watched, laboring flat on your back would make anyone think (rightfully) that she needed an epidural!

Have your baby at home. Set your body and your baby up for the best experience possible by allowing the birth process to flow as it should. It’s not about one isolated feeling or event, like labor pain or breastfeeding.

The ultimate goal is an experience that changes you, and allows you to create a lifelong bond with your baby. It is your right and your baby’s right to birth and bond in peace.

You can get the original Reuters article here.

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LeylaTheGreat 5 pts

Glad I found this article. Can't agree with you more. When you see obvious cases of "favoritism" (the mother perceives one child as "good" and the other child as "bad") the birth is often behind it.

I highly suggest for you to test this for yourself: Whenever you meet a woman who says she is more "bonded" to one of her children, and swears up and down the other perfectly-normal seeming child is a "trouble maker," innocently inquire of her the story of their births, without telling her why you are asking. What you will find in every single case is the "favorite" child was delivered natural, and the so-called "bad trouble maker" child was delivered with the aid of an epidural or c section. The mother will often admit she had post partum depression with the "bad trouble maker" child as opposed to the "love at first site" high she will freely admit she experienced with the child whom she favors.

From my research women do not seem to be able to "shake it off" and bond to the child later. Either they bond with the child at birth or not at all. In cases where someone you know's mother abandoned or abused them, perhaps even a family member, a little investigating will often uncover their mother had post partum depression after a c-section or epidural birth, causing her to reject them.

Some women have had their partner walk out and leave them for having post partum depression after giving birth, saying "you're not the woman I fell in love with." That certainly is not a harmless harmless consequence, putting the mother under a financial strain, and the baby often carries the blame for it. "He left because of you!"

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